Today you made your mother cry...don't worry, my love, they were tears of joy, love, wonderment, amazement.
At church today I had just finished telling your daddy that we don't neeeed to sit on the back row anymore. In fact my exact words were, "Honey we don't need to sit back here...I mean when was the last time we had to take him out?" Then...it began. Those fateful words were just the beginning. During Sacrament meeting alone I had to leave and/or stand up at least three times. Sunday School once. Relief Society....I heard like 5 minutes of the lesson.
Rewind to Sunday School. You were so fussy. I was so frustrated. I was thinking to myself, "Hoooow do moms make it through days like today?" There was nothing, NOTHING I could do to soothe you. Until...I was standing in the hallway feeling pathetically hopeless. The
As soon as you saw this picture you began smiling and reaching for the portrait. My heart jumped to think that not too long ago you were with him. He was preparing you for this hard life. I just couldn't stop staring at you and then back to the picture in amazement. You were literally wiggling almost out of my arms trying to touch it. You were smiling and babbling non-stop. I don't think there are many other moments that can compare with that one in regards to how joyful I was inside. Then I continued to walk, you saw a picture of the Lion and the Lamb. You studied the colors of the picture but you were not engaged. Then we came to this picture:
Again the same reaction...you started jumping and wiggling. You were reaching, babbling, and smiling. You wanted the picture, you wanted to touch it, you were engaged. I just stared at you in amazement. How can such a small person have so much excitement for something. You may not know why you loved these pictures so much...who knows? I think you know exactly who Christ is. I know you lived with him before coming to this Earth. I know you walked and talked with him about your life to come. I know that you will forget everything soon, little one; but I promise to always help you to remember. I want nothing but happiness for you.
I never could fully grasp what other people meant when they said, "I've never loved like this." But really, anytime you're crying, I want to cry for you. When you roll off the front of the couch and bump your head, I wish it were my head. When you're crying because you're hungry, I wish it were me instead. How our Heavenly Father sent His son here to die for our pitiful sins is unfathomable to me. I could/would never do that. I love you Baby Bear. There is nothing you can do to change that. I will always help you to remember my sweet boy.
Love,
Your ever adoring mother.
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