Baby Bear #5

Sweet Baby Bear,                                                               June 14, 2012

I’m five months today, 20 weeks, half way done with the pregnancy, almost there! I’m so scared and excited at the same time.

I wonder, hope, and pray that you will be a healthy baby. I wonder if I will be a good mother. I wonder if you will love me as much as I already love you. I wonder if I’ll be able to withstand the pressures of motherhood and be everything that you expect of me. I wonder if I will be able to shelter you and protect you from all of the awful mean things for as long as possible. I wonder if you’ll sleep through the night like some babes or sleep through the day like others. I wonder if you’ll like our pups. I wonder if you will love and embrace the Gospel of Jesus Christ as much as your daddy and I do. I wonder if I will be enough.

I know it does no good to wonder and worry about things that are yet to come, but that certainly doesn’t stop me from doing so.

You know from an earlier letter that your daddy is a little kid; you should know that your mommy is the worrying adult. If there’s nothing to worry about I can typically find something to worry about-it’s just who I’ve always been.

I’m sad to know that I’m already half way done with the pregnancy because I feel like it was just yesterday that I saw two lines on my pregnancy test and sat with my mouth hanging open unable to speak. I was amazed that it had finally happened; we were growing into a family of three.

I love you so much little Baby Bear because even though I’m sad that 5 months has already flown by, I can happily say that that means there’s only 4 months until you’re in my arms staring up at me, learning my face, my scent, and my mannerisms. I’m so overjoyed by this.  

Love, 

Your ever adoring Mother.